


While you were sleeping

by withered



Series: Who's been lovin' you good? [52]
Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Confessions, Extremis Tony, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Sickfic, cliche tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23105395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withered/pseuds/withered
Summary: When Tony realizes he's probably in the hospital again, the last thing he expects is a bedside confession.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: Who's been lovin' you good? [52]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/918138
Comments: 62
Kudos: 1309
Collections: Winteriron all the time





	While you were sleeping

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SeijiShun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeijiShun/gifts).



> For seijishun who requested "confessed feelings while you were in a coma"

Tony drifts in and out of a haze, and it’s a sign of So Much Not Good that he can’t feel anything. The last time that happened he’d been as close to knocking on death’s door as he’d ever been after that bunker in Siberia, an event measured in the redness in Pepper’s eyes and the hoarse quality of Rhodey’s voice, and the number of calls they'd both fielded from his lawyers about Tony's _last will in testament_. 

It’s a metaphor for the state of his life that Tony mostly just sighs at the passing thought.

Measuring time by how badly he’s injured, and how much he hurts his family, is just the cherry on the superhero shit cake.

“Oh, darlin’ what am I gonna do with you, huh?” 

Tony’s hand tightens weakly around James’, letting the honey smoke of his Brooklyn accent curl around Tony’s tattered, battered heart as easily as they curl around the words. 

“What were you even doin? Huh?” James continues to prod, quiet and sad. “Friday was on lockdown, you freaked her out so bad. I had to get Doc Cho on the phone too. She and Ms Potts are real pissed by the way. And don’t even get me started on Rogers.”

At that, Tony damn near flinches away at the name, and James seems to regret it immediately, shushing him gently before, “I’m sorry, doll, I didn’t mean it like that. Just…they lot of ‘em told about Ultron, and I know you wouldn’t do it again. You’re too smart for that. But I…I get the feeling I know what you were doing instead.” 

His limbs stiffen, stubborn against James’ coaxing caresses; bolder and more confident when Tony can’t look him in the eye. 

Tony thinks it’s for the best. 

James’ eyes are damn near lethal when he’s shy, Tony would be putty in his hands if James could hold him as comfortably as he’s doing now. Like they do it all the time. 

Even if they haven’t.

Even if they almost did. 

He’s sort of grateful they hadn’t crossed that border yet. God knows Tony’s so starved for attention that cuddles whenever he wanted, in the arms of James Barnes could’ve sufficiently distracted him from the project that’s been the one thing keeping him going these past few months; the one thing that would protect his family and the world from the Titan that was coming by giving up one of the few things Tony actually liked about himself.

But James sighs. “I wish…I wish you wouldn’t push so hard, Tony. You’re trying…you’re trying to be more than human, and that’s not. That’s not what you want.” With a sad sort of chuckle he adds, “You like your salt-n-pepper hair, and your wrinkles. You think it makes you look distinguished.” Tony can practically see him shake his head with a smile. “Ya look like the damn poster child for a silver fox. Not that I’m complaining; never thought I had a thing for the older, nerdy professor types, but you always love introducing me to new things.” And Tony’s heart stumbles at the compliment, but he doesn’t know if it’s just in his head or not. 

James continues, “Doc says…Doc says that this is the most dangerous itineration of Extremis you’ve tested so far, and I can’t. I can’t understand why you’d risk your life like this, Tony." He pauses, then, contradicts himself, "No. I know what you were thinking. That it would be worth it. That when you succeeded, it would be just another armor for you to wear. And that if you didn't." His intake of breath is sharp, and his voice next is choked, "You didn’t even tell anyone what you were doin’! I thought…” James stumbles on the words, “I thought we were friends.” With a choked chuckle, he adds a little wistfully, “I thought we were finally gonna be more.” 

And Tony’s heart clenches at that. 

Like James regrets something that hasn’t even happened yet, like the potential alone had been disappointing enough. And Tony wants, so desperately to tell him, _that’s why I did it. That’s why. Because it had to be me. Because everyone else….they have something to live for, someone to lose. But me? I don’t - I don’t have anyone that wouldn’t be just fine without me._

But James continues, firm and argumentive, as if he can hear Tony’s particular brand of martyrdom,“Tony, I…I don’t know you as much as I’d like to yet - and if Doc Cho and Bruce get their way, _I will get to -_ but I can…I can guess why you’re doing it, and you’re wrong. You’re the last person to be cannon fodder for this Titan bullshit, you’ve got…you’ve got so many people who care about you. So many people who wouldn’t know what they’d do without you.” 

Tony wants to snort, _like who,_ and James obliges, “Rhodes, and Ms Potts, and Happy, the boys, the bots.” He pauses, then quietly offers, “me.” 

Tony’s heart upticks in his surprise, the little shocked unfurl of hope blooming in his chest beneath the star embedded in it.

James sighs again. “God, I wish I told you I cared about you sooner. Maybe then you wouldn’t’ve gone this damn far thinkin’-thinkin’ you were alone and that your life was forfeit somehow. Hell, maybe I’d have talked you out of this cockamamy plan altogether even if - even if Doc Cho says that your vitals are holding strong, and that…that you did it.” 

_Did it_ , Tony thinks, and the hope blooms a little brighter. 

“I should be mad at you for it,” James continues, “I still am, kinda. But…you’re the closest thing to immortal as its gonna get, and after this little stint for your body to get used to having Extremis in its system, you’re gonna be as durable as me.” 

_That could be fun,_ Tony wants to tease, wiggle his brows and flirt for all he’s worth.

And despite James’ declaration that he doesn’t know Tony well enough yet, James seems to know Tony’s thoughts loud and clear as he chuckles, adding, “And I mean, I’m not mad that you got young again, neither.” 

And Tony _has questions_ about _what that means_ except he gets completely sidetracked by James’ lips against his knuckles, the comforting warmth of his chuckle against Tony’s skin, and the purr of his voice as he teases, “Gotta say, I always knew you were a pretty boy." Then, almost shy he adds, "I know you didn't intend for the eternity you're getting to be anything less than a punishment, but maybe. Maybe it can feel less like one when we're together? Think you can pencil me in for a date once you wake, doll?" 

And yes. Absolutely. Obviously. 

But while Tony still can't quite shake the haze of the drugs and exhaustion off to actually say those words, they wane just enough for him to squeeze James' hand in his and that. That seems like answer enough as James chuckles, and brushes a kiss against his cheek. "I'll be waiting right here for you, Tony. Whenever you're ready, I'll be right here."

**Author's Note:**

> I keep forgetting to transfer my tumblr ramblings on here, so oop- 
> 
> BY THE WAY. Get the pdf to the series [here](https://everythingwithered.wordpress.com/2020/04/19/whos-been-lovin-you-good/).


End file.
